These Nights I Get High Just From Breathing - Something Corporate

Right now I feel like the world is a happy place. I'll be home for the first time in year in less than two days. I just finished my last shift ever at my life guarding job. And to top it all off I'm dating a seriously cute boy. I know the comping month will be great :) Oh, and my bestie will finally become my roomie! :)

I'm Kinda Hungry...

I love that this blog is relatively unread. I'm just saying that to begin with because it provides for me a space to throw thoughts out into the world for everyone to know, but also secret enough for me not to worry about anything coming to back to haunt me.

With that said, the last few weeks have been mellow. I met a boy, well, not a boy since he's in his 20's but you get my drift. He may or may not become something significant. I think he may but I'm really just rolling with the punches. Whatever happens, happens.

At this point, I know where I want to be in the next few years. I know that I'm on the path to reach my dreams and my goals. I know that I'm blessed and come what may I will learn from all mistakes and experiences.

Basically, life is good.

Examples:
Three weeks till I got home.
My oldest sister just found out she is having another baby boy :)
School starts in about a month and a half --meaning my friends come back from the mainland

Yepp, life is ok right now. Just so you know :)

Better Luck Next Time

It's the weekend. TGIF and I mean it! This week has been a rough one. I have a laundry list of things that irked me but I will summarize with two major causes; (1) my bike was stolen, again (2) my landlord is slightly incompetent. These things on there own are bad enough and shoved into such a short time span I had a hard time dealing.
That is until I realized that I simply complain more than I should/have right to. All I could focus on was how things were not going my way; how now I have to buy a new bike and I'm living in the smallest space I've ever lived in and I might have been happier in a tent like I had last summer than the place I'll be in for the next six weeks. While all of that is still relevant and true I realize that I've been pretty blessed considering what could happen.

• Even though I'm walking to and from work I haven't been rained on yet. Huge blessing since it rains practically everyday, especially in the early morning. 
• I only lost a bike, not something more valuable. 
• I'm not sick, I don't have so much of a cold this week and I deffinatly don't have to deal with a chronic illness like so many others. 
• My family loves me and puts up with my crazy rants. 
• I had two paydays this weeks so financially I am in the clear. 
• The walking time I have also gives me the perfect opportunity to call home and catch up.
• My landlord hasn't unexpectedly kicked me out as he has done with other tenets.
• I'm getting my way in the end (even if the end is six weeks away)
• I can now count down the days until I'm home! 41!

See, I am pretty fortunate in many areas and that is what I should be focusing on. I know life will always be throwing me a curve ball and while this time I missed and swung wild with a negative attitude there is hope for the future that I can handle situations and set backs better in times to come.

Seem's Like It's Time To Sleep

First things first, let's just be clear that at 3 am I don't think clearly and all emotions seem so intensely heightened, especially the negative and this caused my last post to be extremely dramatic. I made a mountain out of a mole hill. Upon reflection and much needed sleep I was kind of a cry baby. 

That being said, I should probably be asleep right now. I'm not though. For some unknown reason I cannot fall asleep tonight. I'll blame it on the half hour nap I took at 8. Woe is me, I'll probably be up until 1 or 2 staring into nothingness wishing I could drift into a peaceful slumber. 

In more exciting new tomorrow I am moving rooms. This is happy and sad. I love my current roommate she's the best one I've ever had and we get along so well but moving rooms signifies one step closer to becoming roomies with my bestie who is currently hiding on the east coast. Another downer is that I will be moving all of my possessions down 3 flights of stairs and then back up 1 before it settles in its final destination. That is going to kick my but with all the climbing and I just have so much stuff. I think I may use this opportunity to weed out clothes for donation and re-decorate my space. Who knows what will happen. 

I suppose I should try and sleep again. I don't think it will happen for a while but it's worth a shot. Good night world. :)

I'm the Lamest Kid I Know

Let me tell you about my life. I wake up each day usually some around 5 am and I go to work. I stay at work (hoping between two jobs) until 6pm when I go to my sisters for dinner go home around 9 repeat process. Working about 50hrs a week doesn't exactly leave all the time/energy to go and make new friends. And most/all of my current friends have left me for the summer so I have no social life. While life isn't terrible and I do love spending time with my sister and her family some times I have moments where I realize how bad it sucks.

Tonight is one of those moments.

There was a HUGE dance on campus that I've actually been looking forward to tonight. I was seeing this as an opportunity to talk to the acquaintances/ friends I have but hardly ever see and I was going to be social. I hardly ever do anything with just friends any more and I'm really really starting to miss just hanging out. So, I wanted to go to this dance. I'd been thinking about it all day.

But, I was tired. I watched the premier of HP7.2 the night before and still got up for work on time. Running on 3 hrs of sleep my defenses were a little low and although I had only planned on it being a small nap. Just and hr or two before the dance started. No, I slept right threw the dance. I am so pissed at myself. I know it probably seems silly to be mad that I missed a dance but this was the perfect chance for me to be incredibly social and still be within my comfort zone. I could see everyone, because everyone was going to the dance, and meet new people.

Now, here I am. Up at 3am because I'm fuming over the fact that I missed the dance. .... And being up at 3 am means I'm going to be tired again tomorrow night so I will go to be early and be incredibly lame once again.

Guess Who Has Tonsillitis :(

This post is made special for Erin.

With that being said I'll tell you whats up. So, the past few days I have had what I thought was a terrible cold. I had a runny nose, cough, sore throat and was completely exhausted but I had been trying real hard to fight it off and was taking over the counter medicine but it just wasn't going away. I finally gave in and decided to go to the Health Center here on campus. After running a few tests it was confirmed: Tonsillitis. :( I'm now taking antibiotics, cough medicine(again) and some thing for a sore throat. Plus, I have to take the next few days off work to re cooperate and get better. I hope I get better soon!

Oh well, in other news I finished Spring term. I'm still waiting for my grades to be posted... I know I didn't do to well though....

oh gee, I sound all sorts of pessimistic today. haha, sorry guys.

I promise more optimistic things in the future.

Time for Contemplation and Slacking Off

Ok, first off I would like to admit to you that I should be finishing homework. There is a research paper that hasn't been started, a stats test to be studied for, a novel to be read, and accounting assignments that are beckoning me. I'll ignore them right now however, because I just do not feel like dealing with it.
Today I realized that I love my jobs. The one as a lifeguard and the one in the cell shop. When I realized this I was amazed at myself. I've pretty much always loved my LG job but I started out HATING my job at the cell shop. It made me cry. I felt incompetent. I felt inadequate. I wanted to quit terribly. But I stuck it out because I needed the money. Now, less than 2 months later I love my job.
I'm starting to think that this sudden affection towards the space no bigger than a walk in closet is partially due to the stress of school. Due dates seem to be mounting and pressing down on me. I'm starting to doubt if i could do it. Can I make it through? What If I can't write that paper? What if I fail one more test? What if that ONE concept just doesn't make any sense to me? When I am at work, I focus on work. It doesn't matter t me because my mind has to be focused on something else ans the stress from school is pushed back. I toy with the idea of what it would be like to just work. To say screw it to my education and find a job steady enough to give me a small income. .... No, Thats is not an option. Let's face it, I can't work in a cell shop forever. I'll get bored with it soon and want another challenge. To simply work is to be is stagnant. No progression; and I NEED to continually be moving forward. I have to move on. I have to keep going. It's not that hard, I swear to myself that it's not three more weeks and I'll be done with these classes and life will slow down for a moment. I can do this.
Tonight is Friday though, and while I may not have a social life or friends to hang out with I swear I'll take full advantage of it and procrastinate that paper just a little longer. Don't worry, I'll get around to it eventually.